Hello

Guess what? I have that feeling again. The feeling of wanting to write and never stop. Just spill everything, every little detail of what I’m thinking about. Only, it feels like I can’t. There is something holding me back. There is always something holding me back. I believe it is called LAZYINESS!!! Ugh! I have a serious problem. I just don’t want to do anything at all and it is annoying. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I mean, there HAS to be something wrong. I know I should be doing something important right now, but I don’t want to. Now that, that is a problem.

I’ve been noticing it and it has been getting worse. I’m fucking lazy. I hate it and I need to change real bad. I’m so stupid for letting it get this far. I mean, whenever I push myself I get a lot of things done, but that takes so much effort to push myself. Ha, if that makes sense to you. School is so important, I can’t even remember that feeling of being happy to go. Before college started, I was so excited about it. Now, I’m not even interested in the classes anymore or even going to school. I so need to change. I really do want to go to school and get a career. I just can’t find that motivation anymore. I need it back badly.

I’m the type of person who never knows what to do. I can’t ever make up my mind. I felt like I made up my mind on becoming a teacher, but now I don’t know. I keep doubting myself. I think I won’t be good enough. Yeah, that’s it right there. I put myself down. I make myself believe I can’t do it, can’t make it, won’t be good enough.

I NEED TO BE MORE SELF MOTIVATED!

-Navajo Girl